


Headless

by tiny_freakin_head



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, No Sex, Spy's Head, Trauma, but some fluff, headless Spy, mention of masturbation, sadistic RED Medic, some weirdness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-02
Updated: 2018-03-12
Packaged: 2019-03-26 03:11:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13848831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiny_freakin_head/pseuds/tiny_freakin_head
Summary: How did his team deal with Spy losing his head? And what happened to his body?





	1. Chapter 1

Furlough had been good, but Engineer was quietly glad to be back among the wild group of mercenaries. He was especially looking forward to seeing Spy and Sniper after a couple weeks away.

He ran into most of his teammates as he wandered through the base: Scout bringing in a box of baseball paraphernalia, Soldier smuggling in a raccoon, Demo juggling bottles of deadly chemicals. Normal BLU activities, all around.

He couldn’t, however, find Spy in all the activity. Or Sniper, for that matter, but he knew he was likely to find his other lover outside, or in his camper.

He’d let Sniper decompress, and keep an eye out for Spy.

*

It wasn’t unusual for Spy to miss breakfast –left to his own devices, he was anything but an early riser– but it wasn’t like him to be late for the morning’s battle-call. Everyone else was there, gathered and waiting for the gate to open, except Spy. Sniper might’ve thought he was just cloaked for some reason, but he couldn’t smell Spy’s distinctive cigarettes either.

“Engineer, have you seen-”

The Announcer’s voice cut him off and he glanced at the clock in alarm – almost two minutes early. Unheard of.

“BLU team forfeits,” the familiar voice bellowed.

Sniper frowned; this was the first he was hearing about it. His teammates muttered amongst themselves or exchanged confused glances.

Soldier seemed to recover first. He marched up to the loudspeaker and shouted, “We do not forfeit! We are ready to battle!” The intercom was high enough that he had to jump to reach it -probably for exactly this reason- and it was only one way. He couldn’t speak to the Announcer.

Engineer gave Sniper a concerned look. Still, it was best to ask the whole team.

“Anyone seen Spy since we got back?”

There was a chorus of ‘no’s’. After some talk, they came to the conclusion that Sniper was the last to see him, before furlough had started, and that Spy hadn’t said -to anyone- where he was going.

Scout whooped with glee and took off, yelling something about a snow day. The rest of the tea left, singly or in pairs, but Sniper waited and caught Engineer’s eye.

“This ain’t like him,” Engineer fretted.

“No, it’s not, and I don’t like that _I_ was the last to see him.” Sniper glanced around nervously. “I feel like people blame me for losing today.”

“That ain’t true, and if anyone does, I’ll set ‘em straight. This is Spy’s doing. Why don’t we talk to Miss P and see what’s what?”

“Thanks,” Sometimes it was hard for Sniper to tell if something he thought people were thinking was his own paranoia or not. He brightened a little at the suggestion. “Hey, that’s an idea! Of course she’ll know.”

Engineer went to his workshop, tapping in the woman’s number into his phone with his gunslinger. His face grew more and more grim as the conversation went on. He finally hung up and gave Sniper an anxious look.

“She’s got no idea.”

Sniper felt all the blood drain from his face, and he felt faint. “What?” Engineer’s words just didn’t make sense.

“She said he’s apparently within respawn range, but he’s dead and he ain’t respawning. And they don’t know why.”

“That… doesn’t make sense. Does it?” Sniper held Engineer tight, feeling like his world was coming unravelled. Miss Pauling _had_ to know. She knew everything, all the time. He knew it was a foolish, childish thought, but the loss of that certainly still hurt.

“I…” Engineer squeezed Sniper’s hand. “I don’t know if he’ll ever respawn again.” It was weird. Death. Real death. It had seemed so far away here, and now it was happening and he had no defenses. He just hadn’t _expected_ it. Not here.

“H-how does she know he’s in respawn range?” Sniper grabbed Engineer’s wrist. “If she knows that, knows where he is… we can go to him, find him! This has to be a mistake, that’s all. A mistake.”

“I can track down his respawn code, see what we find?” Engineer was terrified of what they might find.

Sniper nodded. “Is it close? Do we need my van? ‘spose your truck might be more convenient.” Having a purpose, a destination, something to _do_ reinvigorated Sniper and now he couldn’t wait to leave. They’d find Spy, bring him back, _make_ him respawn.

“Just let me rig something up. It’ll take me a little while.”

A little while ended up taking til dark, and Sniper waited impatiently the entire time. Finally ready to go, Engineer climbed into his truck and followed the Spy compass he’d rigged up.

Barely restraining himself from saying “finally”, Sniper followed Engineer to the truck. “Want me to hold that while you drive?” he offered, “or is it hard to read?” It didn’t have writing on it, so he thought he might be able to manage, but he didn’t want to fuck this up and delay finding Spy.

“Nah, you can hold it, it’s straight forward.” Sniper seemed so confident, but when they finally came close enough for the sensor to let out a loud buzz, Engineer’s heart was in his throat. There was a dark mass half buried in the sand in the truck’s lights.

Sniper jumped out of the truck almost before it had stopped moving, running towards the shape and flinging away handfuls of sand.

Engineer hesitated before following him. It was definitely Spy. Engineer had half-expected him to be rotting, or mummified with the heat, but he looked just like Spy.

Only, when Sniper pulled him up out of the sand, he had no head.

“Fuck!” Sniper fell back, scrambling away from the body on all fours. He retched, but nothing came up. He’d seen worse -he’d _done_ worse- on the battlefield, every day, but this? This was different.

Engineer stepped forwards and picked the body back up, sitting it up. The wound was clean. Sterile, even. No blood, the muscle and bone that was revealed was pale and bloodless. It was eerie. Something moved under his fingers and he pulled his hand away violently.

It was a pulse.

He held his fingers to Spy’s wrist. There was an incredibly slow, but definite pulse.

“What? What is it?” Sniper asked, dully, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“He… he has a pulse?”

“That’s not funny,” Sniper snapped. “I’d expect better from you.”

“I’m not lyin’!” he cried. “He has an honest to god pulse! And look at him. He’s perfectly preserved. This is… such a mess. We have to find his head.”

“S-sorry. It’s just… I’m just… _He doesn’t have a head_! How can he have a pulse if he doesn’t have a head?!”

“Respawn is, well, it’s still a bit of an unknown. His body is still sort of alive, so it stands to reason his head must be too. Somewhere.” Engineer wasn’t sure if he was being honest, or if this was just wishful thinking. He was terrified they’d just keep Spy’s body alive and never find the rest of him.

Sniper’s hands were shaking, but he gritted his teeth and forced himself to focus. “Does that…” He swallowed, hard. “Should we look for it?”

Engineer nodded. They spent the next hour combing the desert, but found nothing.

“We should get him back to Medic,” Engineer finally decided. “Maybe he’ll know what to do.”

Sniper nodded. Between the two of them, they maneuvered the headless corpse – he refused to think of it as Spy- into the bed of Engineer’s truck.

Sniper leaned against his window on the drive back, listlessly staring out at the desert. “Doesn’t make sense, though,” he said, out of nowhere, “His head couldn’t’ve just wandered off.”

“Maybe someone dumped the body? It’s been long enough that tracks would’ve been blown away, right?” Engineer kept an eye on the truck bed, feeling eerily certain that the body might sit up on its own.

“Makes sense, but who, and why?” Sniper couldn’t help following Engineer’s glance, but he quickly faced the front again, wrapping his arms around himself with a shudder. “Sorry, I know, I haven’t been much help. I know you’re hurting too.”

“It’s ok. We’ll figure this out,” he said firmly.

Sniper nodded again, once again staring out his window. He’d been so sure- first that Miss Pauling would know what was happening, then that Engineer would know how to fix it. “You don’t think Medic can help, do you.”

Engineer’s voice broke. “I don’t know,” he admitted, not wanting to say he was starting to think Spy was dead and gone, never coming back,

“He has a pulse, though. He’s… alive.” Sniper gave Engineer’s thigh a firm squeeze. He managed a weak smile.

Engineer nodded, not daring to speak.


	2. Chapter 2

They were late coming back and everyone on base was already asleep. Engineer and Sniper carried Spy’s limp body to the infirmary and put it down on the operating table.

“Doc!” Engineer called, sure that Medic would be in his room right off the infirmary.

Medic grunted and rolled over, burying his face in Heavy’s chest. “Ach, nein. Go kill them, please.”

“Josef, wake up.” Heavy gave him a gentle push.

“We… we found Spy,” Engineer called, though it felt like a lie.

“ _You_ wake up,” Medic retorted, but he was up out of bed and pulling on his coat and trousers almost before Engineer had finished speaking. “What? Where? Is he-” he saw how grim Engineer looked, how pale Sniper’s face was. “What? He’s right-” he stepped closer to the exam table and saw. “Ach du lieber Gott in Himmel!”

“Yeah, we looked but we couldn’t find his-”

 Engineer took a shaky breath. “But he’s got a damn pulse!”

“That’s impossible!” Medic started reaching for the corpse’s neck, shuddered, and felt his wrist instead. “You’re right. This is-” he caught sight of Sniper’s stricken expression. He softened his voice, awkwardly patting Sniper’s shoulder. “Look, you’ve done what you can for now. Why don’t you go rest in your camper? We’ll let you know if anything changes.”

Glancing between his teammates, Sniper nodded. There was nothing he could do for Spy now – if men as smart as Engineer and Medic couldn’t figure it out, he’d just get in the way. He trudged off to his camper, forcing himself not to look back at Spy’s motionless body.

“Doctor? Is everything alright?” Heavy asked from the adjoining room.

Medic grimaced; Spy and Heavy were very close friends. He leaned over to murmur to Engineer. “I think we should keep this to ourselves for now.” He called back to Heavy, “Nein, Liebling, you stay in bed. I’ll take care of this.”

Engineer frowned, but nodded. “D’you have any ideas? So far all I can think is trying to send him through respawn, but I’m worried that we’ll lose any chance of getting him back.” Engineer sighed. “If we’re going to keep him a secret, let’s get him set up in my workshop. Bring anything you think might help.”

Motioning for Engineer to be quiet, Medic shut the door between the infirmary and his bedroom. “Are you sure? I have ways of keeping him hidden here. You don’t have to- oh!” Medic snapped his fingers. “His- the smoking room!”

Engineer sighed a breath of relief. Of course. That’d be far better than having to sleep near Spy’s …corpse? No. Body. He wasn’t dead.

“I’ll carry…it, if you bring supplies.” He didn’t have a key to the smoking room, but he could easily break the handle and fix it after. “Thanks, doc.”

Medic nodded, glancing at his room. “Of course. I… if Heavy…” He shuddered, then pointedly shook his head. “If you can carry him by yourself, I’ll meet you there.”

“I can,” Engineer picked the thin body up. Spy weighed even less than usual, of course. He carried him to the smoking room, broke in, then put the limp body in one of the armchairs.

“Right, well,” Medic appeared a few minutes later, carrying a bulging Gladstone bag. He laid out some tools, syringes and phials on Spy’s end tables. “Are you sure you want to be here for this? You’ve done more than can be expected already.”

“I want to help, if I can. And since we’re keeping this between us, I want to know what’s going on.”

Medic nodded. “Of course. I would, too.” He smiled grimly. “Of course, there are those who would say my reactions to many situations aren’t precisely  ..conventional.” He cleared his throat. “In any case… most of the tests I would normally use to assess his state are useless without a .. pupils. Or breath. Help me undress him? I’ll do an external exam.” He sighed. “I don’t see much blood on the.. er… below…” He gestured at his neck, then grimaced. “I don’t think he’s injured elsewhere, but we might learn something!” he said, using volume to mask his discomfort.

They undressed him together, sitting him in his chair and looking him over carefully. It was even more disconcerting to see him naked. He just looked so wrong, and yet so normal. Engineer was getting more and more uncomfortable.

“You can leave, you know!” Medic sounded more impatient than caring, but he truly was concerned for Engineer.

“I… alright. Come get me if anything changes.” Engineer sighed, heading out. He was more than exhausted.

“Of course,” Medic gave Engineer a rough pat on the back, half consoling, half shove.

He didn’t see or feel anything odd- besides the obvious- on his examination. Spy’s body appeared perfectly healthy. He had reflexes. He withdrew from painful stimulus.

“It’s almost as though…” Medic murmured aloud, “…his head is _there_ , but invisible.” His eyes widened behind his glasses. “Could it be that simple?” He felt above Spy’s neck, but didn’t feel a cloaked head. He fished Spy’s cigarette case out of his discarded suit jacket and, when pushing random buttons failed to produce results, he set it aside with distaste. Let Engineer puzzle over it later, if… a new thought interrupted his musings.

Moving quietly so he wouldn’t disturb anyone Medic hurried to the respawn room – perhaps Spy had simply respawned _wrong_? But after a thorough search of the small room, there was no sign of a disembodied head.

Sighing, he made his way back to the smoking room. He knew what he had to do, knew he’d been putting it off. He thought of consulting Engineer or Sniper, but decided that the decision ultimately rested with him. He filled a syringe and injected Spy’s body. “I’m sorry, mein freund. I hope this helps.”

He didn’t wait to watch the body die, instead hurrying back to respawn.

He waited.

Nothing emerged, far past the point where the body should have died. Upon returning to the smoking room it was clear the body was still… as healthy as it had been before infection.

Medic took the corpse’s pulse again, shaking his head. It was the same- steady and regular. “This… doesn’t make sense.”

*

Spy couldn’t seem to sleep.

He’d been in the cold darkness of the fridge for what seemed like days, but could have been just hours. He couldn’t shiver, but his teeth could chatter and he could get goose bumps.

The fridge door opened, turning on the overhead light and allowing heat and more light to flood the box. The RED Medic bent to the Spy’s level, squatting with his elbows on his knees and wearing his most disarming smile. “And how is my favourite experiment -I meant _patient_!- today? Did you sleep better?”

“I can’t sleep,” he spat. “Kill me.” He felt pathetic, for how desperate he was for light and warmth. Begging for death, helpless to do anything.

“Later,” the Medic assured him, distractedly. He pushed the delightful talking head aside and grabbed a phial of murky liquid from behind him.

Spy could do nothing but watch as the door closed again.

*

The week passed in agonizing slowness. Engineer was starting to truly believe Spy was dead. He spent more and more time in a deep depression, struggling to get anything done. They didn’t even have battle to distract them. Every time they lined up, their forfeit was announced, to the fury of Soldier.

“Are… are we gonna get… y’know, a new Spy?” Scout asked Demo very softly. People were _touchy_ about Spy being gone. Not having battles had been fun the first few days, but now it was just boring. He could only do so many laps of the base, and he was beginning to discover that yes, he _could_ only cum a certain number of times a day.

Demo gave him a sympathetic look. “We’re still lookin’ for our Spy,” he replied, just as softly. “Sniper and Engineer are real broken up.”

“I _know_ ,” Scout sighed, “but… I mean, c’mon? How long can we actually wait before we do something?” He couldn’t understand why they were upset over losing _Spy_ , but he didn’t like seeing them miserable either. The whole team had just been one massive bummer.

Demo merely shrugged and turned back to his scotch.

*

Medic knocked on Engineer’s workshop door. Engineer answered; he had dark circles under his eyes from another night of not enough sleep and far too many nightmares.

“You look terrible. In my medical opinion.” Not even grief and stress could keep Medic from blurting out his first observation. “Sorry,” he added, shrugging one shoulder.

“Want to come in?” Engineer sighed. He knew Medic wasn’t tactless on purpose.

“Yes. Please. Actually, would you mind fetching Sniper?”

“Alright,” he frowned, heading out to get the Australian. It was only a short walk from the base to the camper.

He knocked on the camper door. “It’s me,” he called.

Sniper managed a small smile when he saw who his visitor was. He hated that he hadn’t just lost Spy, but essentially Engineer as well, but he just wanted to be alone. It wasn’t something he or Engineer had discussed – they’d simply, mutually, been keeping their distance. Still, it was nice to see Engineer. Maybe they could have a bit of a cuddle, at least.

“Medic was hoping to see us,” he gestured with his head back to the base. He reached out and squeezed Sniper’s hand.

Sniper’s eyes flashed with hope and joyously squeezed back.

Engineer saw the hope in his expression and couldn’t keep from shaking his head a little. Doc hadn’t seemed ready to give good news.

They walked back to his workshop and once there, Engineer sat on one of his workbenches. “Well?”

Medic sighed, neatly steepling his fingers. “I think… I think we need to make an announcement to the team. Not tell them everything...” he continued, “not all the details, but … everyone is wondering what’s going on, and I don’t think they’ll be put off much longer.”

Sniper glanced from Medic to Engineer and back, horrified. “What? This- I thought-”

Engineer sighed. “What can we tell them? That Spy’s not dead, but lost? That we have no idea what to do? At this rate, the Administrator will replace him.”

“Well, we have to tell them _something_!” Medic insisted. “I’m not saying we discuss this with the Administrator -as if she doesn’t already know!- but our _teammates_. Or do you not trust them?”

“ _I just don’t know what to tell them_!” Engineer yelled.

“ _I think he’s right_!” Sniper shouted, nearly at the same time as Engineer.

Engineer sighed, “Sorry.”

When Engineer lowered his voice, Sniper turned red and stared at the toes of his scuffed boots. “I think he’s right,” he told Engineer again, softly. “I think we should tell ‘em. It doesn’t-” his voice broke, but he pressed on “-it doesn’t mean we’re giving up on him, but if we’re going to be a team, we have to tell them… _something_.”

Medic did his best not to look smug.

“That’s fine! But what can we say? We found his headless body, but he’s still alive?” Engineer’s eyes were a little wet and he wiped them on his sleeve.

“N-no,” Medic frowned.

Sniper shook his head violently, hands knotting into white-knuckled fists, then releasing. “We tell them…” He’d given this a lot of thought- something plausible, but that wouldn’t cause a panic if everyone believed something was wrong with respawn. “We tell them he’s gone. He, I don’t know, got called away for a mission by one of his old contacts, and he can’t talk to any of us until he’s done. But _he will be back_.” Eyes red and damp, he gave each of them a hard, pleading look. “Because you’re two of the smartest men on the planet, and together you’ll figure this out.”

Engineer’s face fell at Sniper’s final pronouncement. “Lawry, I just- I’m outta ideas,” he whispered, voice failing him. “But let’s tell everyone he’s gone. They gotta hear somethin’.”

“I’ll tell ‘em. They won’t think I’m lying.” Sniper opened his mouth to say something to Engineer, then shook his head and swept out of the workshop.

“Well!” Medic finally broke the tense, awkward silence. “I’m glad I don’t have to do _that_ duty!” His eyes widened. “I should tell Heavy. He should… he should hear it from me.” He gave Engineer’s shoulder a firm squeeze, then left. It had been agony, keeping this secret from Heavy for so long, but he’d wanted to be sure.

He’d tell Heavy the truth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RED Heavy discovers the Medic's little experiment

Another week passed slowly, with far more moping and quiet than before. Engineer hardly left his workshop. He was afraid to see Sniper, to have the man realize that he was useless, as helpless as anyone in the face of this puzzle. Medic and him suspected the RED team had something to do with Spy’s disappearance, but knowing Spy, there were innumerable other enemies that could have done something like this to him. They didn’t know how to proceed, with any of their suspicions. Spy would be the one who’d know how to break into the RED base without being caught. And of course, he wasn’t here to help.

Finally, after yet another long, sleepless, tearful night, Sniper knocked on Engineer’s door.

Engineer opened it, grateful to see his lover. “You ok, slim?” he pulled the taller man into a tight embrace.

Sniper nodded, finding himself briefly unable to speak. He gripped Engineer tight, almost clinging to him. “Miss you,” he said, finally, voice gravelly and harsh from disuse. “I’m exhausted and I don’t want to be alone anymore. Whatever happens… I want you. I’m sorry if I…. I’m sorry.”

“Me too. I missed you,” he pulled Sniper into his workshop and closed the door. “Let’s go to sleep.” He was exhausted, but sure he’d sleep better with Sniper there.

Sniper nodded, keeping a hold of Engineer’s hand. Now that they were touching, he never wanted to let go.

*

“I do enjoy our little chats,” Medic told the head sitting on his counter. He lit a cigarette and gently pressed it between the Spy’s lips.

Spy inhaled, but the smoke just leaked out beneath him and he curled his lip in disgust.

“Well, what did you expect?” Medic laughed at the expression on Spy’s face. “You don’t exactly have lungs.”

“Just kill me,” he demanded.

“Later,” Medic assured him. He sighed, dramatically. “Honestly, you’re like a broken record- ‘kill me, kill me’ all the time! You should be happy, proud, even, you and I are on the cutting edge of medical science, mein Freund.”

“Stop calling me that!”

“What? Would you prefer…” Medic had to think for a moment, “ami?”

“I despise you in every language.”

“Tch. Now, how are you feeling today?” Medic produced a notebook and pen, licked his finger and flipped to a new page.

Spy fumed, silently.

Medic tapped the pen on the counter impatiently.

“I am a head, held by an incompetent mad doctor, how do you _think_ I feel?”

“Incompetent!” Medic laughed “Could an incompetent doctor accomplish such a feat? Now,” he turned Spy’s head so it was facing him again, lightly tapping him between the eyes with his pen. “If you can’t do better than that, it’s back in the fridge with you.”

Spy gritted his teeth. “I feel exactly the same.”

“The same as…?” Medic prompted.

“Every day.”

“Subject’s… mood… and… behaviour… remains… unchanged.” Medic spoke aloud as he wrote. “Well! Nothing wrong with that. In an experiment of this nature, no change could certainly be described as success.”

Spy snarled back at him. “How could any of this be considered a success?”

Heavy knocked perfunctorily on the infirmary door before entering. He frowned, puzzled. He’d heard Medic speaking, but there was no one else in the room. “Doctor? Who were you talking to?”

He heard Heavy come in and he felt a rush of relief. Surely no one else would allow this to continue!

“Help!” he cried, his pride too damaged to care that he was begging.

“Spy?” Heavy tried to lean past Medic to see where the voice had originated from, but Medic moved to block his path.

“This really isn’t a good time,” Medic said coldly, pushing futilely at his Heavy’s chest. “I’m very busy. Right in the middle of a delicate procedure. Come back later. Tomorrow. I’ll find you.”

Spy was desperate. “Please!”

Heavy pushed past Medic, who squeaked at his impertinence.

“Why does Doctor have head? This is what Heavy expects of Soldier, not doctor.”

“Kill me,” Spy pleaded.

Heavy yelped, jumping back and slammed into his Medic.

“How… how is doctor doing this?” he asked, whirling and grabbing Medic’s shoulders. “How?” he roared.

Medic pouted. “There’s no need to shout. I’d be quite happy to explain it to you.”

“Don’t bother. It was an accident and now he won’t let me _die_!” Spy answered him, in Russian.

Keeping a tight hold on Medic’s lab coat, Heavy tentatively approached the talking head, bending down so they were at eye level. “What do you mean, what happened?” Heavy responded in his mother tongue.

“He spilled some chemicals, somehow it kept me invincible for a time. I’ve been stuck in his fridge for _weeks_.” He honestly wasn’t sure how long it had been, but it felt like weeks.

Medic protested. “Whatever he’s saying, it’s not true. I created the base the head is sitting on. That’s what’s kept him alive. It’s a marvel, isn’t it?”

Heavy sighed, loosening his hold fractionally. “This,” he pointed at the head, “is wrong. Fix it. Now.” He realized he’d said his command in Russian- between his fear and disgust, and just having spoken to Spy in Russian, he’d gotten mixed up. “You fix. Now.” He repeated in English.

Spy felt relief bubble up. “Please, kill me.”

Making a fist, Heavy raised it above his head and smashed it down on the head. He grunted in surprise and pain when his hand bounced off, leaving the head untouched.

Spy flinched when he was hit, but found it didn’t hurt, it was as though it hadn’t touched him.

“Really!” Medic groused. “I would have expected better from you – both of you! This is a major breakthrough in medical technology, and you just want to-”

“Fix. This.” Heavy lifted Medic a little, until only the toes of his boots touched the floor.

“Fine,” Medic sighed, rolling his eyes. Once he was on the ground again, he picked up Spy’s head. “Hold this,” he passed the head to Heavy, lifted the other man’s hands higher so he could see the bottom of the mechanism. “We pull this wire here—whoops, no, that would have been unfortunate. _This_ wire here, and…” He flinched a little, closing one eye, as though preparing for a potential explosion.

Spy’s head abruptly disappeared.

Heavy breathed a sigh of relief, putting the base down and giving Medic a disgusted look before he turned to leave.

“It was for _science_!”

*

Spy came to in the respawn room, nearly blinded by the white, well lit room. He stumbled and fell to his knees, suddenly overwhelmed by the amount of sensations he was experiencing. He sat for awhile, pulling off his mask, clumsily, and putting his hands against his face. He’d feared he’d never get to do that again, or anything that required hands, or a body.

He managed to get to his feet and wobbled his way down the hall, leaning on walls. It was dark in the hall and he hated it, but he was _home_ in his own base, safe.

He made his way to Engineer’s workshop. It was best to check there before Sniper’s. He didn’t think he’d be able to go outside in the night. Luckily, he found his lovers asleep together.

Crawling in with them, in between the two of them, Spy fell almost instantly asleep after weeks of being unable to sleep at all. He was so tired he hadn’t even undressed.

*

Sniper woke slowly, reluctantly. There was something between him and Engineer, something keeping him from rolling closer. Even half shut, he pushed of the unyielding weight, something about it was… familiar.

He sat bolt upright, scrambling backwards so fast he fell out of the bed. “Fuck!”

He was still dreaming. He had to be. This had to be a nightmare. He just had to wake up. He’d be safe in Engineer’s arms, without that… thing… between them.

Engineer woke with a start, looking down at Sniper off the bed, then taking in the other form in bed with him. It was Spy. All of him. Breathing, and asleep.

Spy was so deeply asleep that even Sniper’s outburst didn’t wake him.

Sniper was sobbing silently, chest heaving, legs drawn up with his arms wrapped around them.

Engineer gestured for him to come back up, barely daring to breathe, not able to bring himself to touch the sleeping Spy. “He’s back,” he whispered.

Sniper shook his head, swallowing hard.

“He’s got his head back!” Engineer said, still quietly. “He’s okay.”

Slowly, Sniper uncurled and peered over the edge of the bed. Spy was just lying there, asleep, whole and intact. “When…? How?” he whispered.

Engineer shook his head. “No idea. He must’ve respawned and crept in with us. Darn fool, he should have woken us.”

“He looks exhausted. And…” Sniper gestured to the wicked scar around Spy’s neck, grimacing. “It doesn’t make sense, why wouldn’t that go away when he respawned?”

“It’s been a long time,” Engineer said. “Poor thing. God knows what he’s been through.” He put an arm under Spy’s head, carefully. Spy, impossibly, slept through both of them snuggling up to him.

*

Spy woke up slowly, groggy from the amount of sleep he’d just had. He’d slept well into the evening. Upon waking, he realized he was being watched intently, by both his lovers. He shivered. Even now, outside of the fridge, whole again, he felt freezing.

“… _bonjour_.”

Sniper quietly looked away, knowing Spy had already seen him.  “Hi,” he said, very softly.

He smiled weakly, “I’m back.”

Engineer wrapped an arm around him and pulled him into a tight, silent hug.

Sniper shifted until he could get an arm around both of them. “Yeah. Yeah you are. We-” he laughed, sharply. “We missed you.” It was so inadequate, but he couldn’t find the words to say everything he thought and felt, and even if he could, he didn’t want to overwhelm Spy.

“I-” Spy held them both, trembling for a moment. He took a slow breath. “I’m sorry. How long was I…?”

Engineer frowned. “Almost a month. Do you remember anything?”

“Everything. But I couldn’t track the time.”

“What—” Sniper cut himself off, exchanging glances with Engineer. He didn’t want to press, both because the memory might be traumatic, and because Spy tended to clam up if asked too many direct questions, but he also wanted so badly to help his lover, to know what had happened. “It doesn’t matter. You tell us when you’re ready. We’re just glad you’re back.”

“Glad you’re uh… back together,” Engineer’s smile was sad. He gently brushed his thumb over the scar that ringed Spy’s neck.

Spy recoiled, then felt it himself. “Is this permanent?” his voice shook.

Sniper frowned at Engineer, quickly blanking his expression when he noticed Spy looking at him. “I don’t know. Medic might, if you don’t, truckie.”

Spy flinched at the mention of Medic.

Engineer stroked Spy’s hair, gently. “I don’t know, but it’ll be under your mask.”

Sniper nodded, puzzling over Spy’s reaction. He’d flinched before Engineer mentioned that it would be hidden. Medic? Had _Medic_ had something to do with this? He was torn between wanting to stay, to never let Spy out of his sight again, and to go confront their teammate immediately.

Spy nestled in between both of them, grateful to be held, to be able to feel them, to be whole again. All the sensations of having a body were a little overwhelming and he just pressed his face into Sniper’s shoulder. “I missed you both,” he murmured.

Engineer exchanged a worried glance with Sniper over Spy’s head. He’d noticed the flinch too. It had been the other team, as they’d expected. The RED Medic, likely.

Sniper was relieved to see Engineer’s expression, glad he hadn’t been the only one to notice the strange reaction. “Do you want to sleep more?” he asked, stroking Spy’s back gently, “or food? Or-” he laughed. “Sorry. Just want to take care of you, but I don’t want to overwhelm you.”

“Food, I think.” He didn’t exactly feel hungry, but he could feel how sharp his ribs had become. He’d lost weight over the last month, his body wasting away without him. He wondered again where it had been this whole time. If it had been whole, or in pieces, in another of Medic’s refrigerators.

“What would you like?” Of the three of them, Engineer was unquestionably the best cook –at least in a conventional kitchen- but he could also understand if Engineer didn’t want to leave Spy. He supposed all three of them could go together. Spy might even appreciate the extra protection, even if he’d feel a little silly.

“I’ll getcha something.” Engineer said. “I think there’s some good leftovers in the fridge. I won’t be long.” He felt the same as Sniper, not wanting to let Spy out of his sight. But Sniper was there, so he figured it’d be alright. Spy was safe.

Spy nodded. He felt an unexpected stab of panic to have Engineer leaving, but swallowed it down. He was still okay. He was home, safe, in Sniper’s arms.

Sniper felt Spy tense as Engineer left the room, and gave him a quick, hard squeeze to make up for it. “Is there anything else I can do for you?”

He shook his head. “Just stay,” he whispered, feeling rather pathetic.

“Of course,” That was what Sniper wanted, anyway. “Long as you want.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> our last chapter

Battle was forfeited the next day, as Spy was unable to make himself leave the bed, or even think of facing the RED Medic.

He stayed in Engineer’s bed, and he usually would’ve demanded some sort of privacy, but not now. He stuck closer to Sniper and Engineer than ever. Engineer left that morning to explain to the team that Spy was back, and him and Medic decided to come clean to the team about some of what had happened; mostly that Spy was not in a good place at the moment and they should do their best to let him recover. After that, Engineer went to the kitchen to prepare some food for himself and his two men. He took his time, sure that Sniper and Spy would be fine keeping each other company.

Sniper was glad that Spy seemed to be in a clingier mood than usual—he didn’t want to let Spy out of his arms, never mind out of his sight. He appreciated that Engineer was dealing with…everything else. He didn’t feel capable of anything at the moment.

Spy felt about the same. He was exhausted. He’d spent more hours asleep than he had awake in the last 24 hours. Normally he got by on minimal sleep—he’d been an insomniac for a long time—but he felt like he was catching up on a whole month’s worth of sleep. He dozed in Sniper’s arms, finally sitting up with a groan when he realized his arm was asleep from being under Sniper.

“Hey, mate.” Sniper gave him a tentative grin. He didn’t want to come on too strong, show Spy just how upset he was by this whole ordeal—not only because it had affected Spy more, but because he suspected Spy would slink off if things got too emotional for him. He forced himself to stay still and quiet, as though Spy was a skittish animal that would flee if startled. He’d never admit it to Spy, but he considered that a fairly apt description most of the time, and even more so now.

Spy kissed Sniper’s shoulder, giving him a tired smile. “Have you been sleeping with me all this time? Or just laying here?”

“Bit of both.” Sniper didn’t want to admit how many times he’d woken with a start, convinced he’d find Spy gone, or headless. Or, somehow, both. He was glad, but a little surprised, he hadn’t woken Spy up with all his jolting about. “Missed you.”

Spy took a shaky breath, “Missed you too,” he pressed in against Sniper again, ignoring the pins and needles in his arm in favour of comfort. They kept saying those words to each other, as though they wanted to say more but weren’t sure how to say it. It just kept coming out as ‘I miss you’. “I can hardly believe it was so long.” It had felt interminable, but it was impossible to tell how long it had been. Not sleeping had soon made everything strange and unreal, even more so than it already was.

Sniper shook his head, pulling Spy close. Screw dancing around Spy’s skittishness—he’d been terrified, horrified for so long, and now he needed the comfort of feeling Spy’s bare—whole—skin against his own. He laughed, a little harshly. “Yeah, me neither.” He laughed again, sounding more like his usual self. “Thought Scout was going to explode if he went another day without battle.”

“Well he may have to wait another day,” Spy sighed. He was still feeling quite shaky; even walking was difficult. Battle was on a whole other level. Plus, the thought of seeing the RED Medic again… he shook his head. He could see the horror in Sniper’s face, the fear, and he kissed his cheek, happy to let himself be wrapped up in Sniper’s arms. “I wish I could have- I’m sorry you were so worried.”

Sniper scoffed. “Let him explode, I don’t care. I’ve got you back. I’m sorry you were…” He stroked small, gentle circles on Spy’s lower back.

Spy, to his mortification, found himself fighting back tears. He was so grateful to be back. Everything felt so conflicting, except for his hatred and fear of the RED Medic. He felt grateful to his enemy, the RED Heavy. He felt so much affection for Sniper and Engineer, he’d missed them so much, but he also felt an odd guilt for having hurt them, even though he knew it wasn’t his fault. There was also a fear of staying so close, of clinging to them, _needing_ them. He pressed his face into Sniper’s neck and hoped Sniper would let him pretend he wasn’t shaking, that there weren’t tears on his face.

“Love you, mate,” Sniper growled against Spy’s hair, fiercely. “I was so scared—You’re back, that’s the important thing.” He frowned at himself—he needed to take care of Spy right now, not the other way around.

“Love you too,” he said, softly, so his voice wouldn’t break. There was a long silence as he tried to compose himself. “I was afraid I’d never see you again,” he finally admitted, swallowing back more tears and mostly failing at it. It was strange, as torturous as it had been, it had been so much harder to imagine never seeing Sniper or Engineer again, than to imagine being stuck as a head. Maybe because that was a far more normal fear for Spy. Who worried about being just a head? The whole ordeal seemed like a fantasy now.

Sniper nodded wordlessly, petting the back of Spy’s head. “Me too.” He sniffed, swallowing hard. “But Engineer and Medic…they just kept trying. They never gave up on you.” He shrugged. “Not that it ended up… Still, one way or another, you’re _here._ Where you belong.” He immediately regretted saying the last bit—it wouldn’t surprise him at all if Spy wanted to leave and never come back. He couldn’t blame him for that.

To his surprise, Spy just nodded. He’d resisted thinking of the base as home, and the people he worked with as more than just coworkers, but he was rapidly realising that most of them were close to being family, and he did feel at home here. As comfortable as he’d ever remembered feeling anywhere. Maybe it was a sad statement about his life, but it was true. Spy wiped his eyes quickly, taking a deep, steadying breath. “I am,” he agreed.

Sniper couldn’t help a grin at that, but he kept his face pressed against Spy’s cheek to hide his expression. “Mmm…feels so good to hold you again. Even when Engineer and I…it just wasn’t the same without you between us.”

“Hah, so you admit that’s my spot,” Spy laughed weakly.

“Well, you haven’t really left us much choice, have you? Half the time I don’t know how you weasel in there—I think I’m right up as close to him as I can get, and suddenly there’s a Spy wedged in somehow.” He bit his lip—he’d do anything Spy wanted, let him get away with anything, now that he had him back.

“It’s a talent of mine,” Spy sighed, slowly regaining his composure. “…what exactly were Medic and Engineer doing?” He hated to ask, especially since Sniper still seemed quite raw, but he was intensely curious. How could they have hoped to help him? Did they even know where he was, what had happened? Were they planning to raid the enemy base?

“Of course it is.” Sniper shook his head, pressing a quick kiss to the back of Spy’s neck. He frowned. His whole body felt cold when he remembered Spy’s headless, living corpse, and he shook his head to clear away the feeling, hopefully before Spy noticed. “I…don’t really know, actually.” That was mostly true, and what he did know, he wanted to forget.

“I understand Engineer…” he squeezed Sniper’s arm gently, knowing that he was asking a lot. “He could look for me with my respawn profile, though I doubt it could have worked.” Respawn profiles were taken from chips inserted under the skin, but on the body, not the head. “Plus, he’s more… invested in me. But why Medic?” How could he hope to help?

“Ahh… Are you sure you want to talk about this now? Already?” _Without Engineer?_ he added, silently. Not only would Engineer be able to explain it better, Sniper wouldn’t have to fumble his way through trying.

It seemed like it might be too much to ask, suddenly, and Spy pressed a kiss to Sniper’s hand. “It’s fine, we don’t have to talk about it.” He wasn’t exactly sharing what had happened to himself, after all. It was hardly fair to ask the same of Sniper. A dark pit grew in his stomach at the thought of having to explain what had happened. How would he even be able to put it into words?

“You, ah…well, we found your…” Sniper gestured at his body. The words tumbled out of his mouth like stones; he couldn’t stop them now. “It was…you were… _alive._ Without your head.”

Spy’s eyes widened and his grip on Sniper tightened. “Oh Sniper, I’m so sorry. That must have been like a nightmare.” All of it was like a nightmare.

He’d wondered where his body had ended up, but he’d always assumed the RED Medic had taken it apart for organs, or kept it in a freezer somewhere. A large part of him had worried that it was gone forever. He’d never thought that his team had ended up with his headless body. Alive, too. No wonder Sniper seemed so traumatized. “So you know. Somewhat. What happened to me.”

“Somewhat,” Sniper agreed. _Not really._

“I—” Spy grimaced. “I went to snoop around the new RED Medic’s infirmary. There was some kind of accident, some chemicals spilled. It made me impossible to kill, somehow, and he—” He shuddered. “He made some kind of contraption, to keep my head alive. He wouldn’t let me _die_. He just kept me, in his fridge,” Spy couldn’t meet Sniper’s eyes, rubbing his face with his hand. It was humiliating, to admit that he’d just been stored away, helpless to fight back, like some kind of science experiment.

He thought it might explain some of his behaviours, however. It was important they know. Though maybe it would have been easier to tell this to both of them at the same time, it was just coming out and there was no stopping it.

Sniper felt the blood drain from his face and he felt sick. “You…you were just in his fridge this whole time? Just your head?”

Spy nodded. “I never thought you’d ended up with my body.”

“I never thought… Fuck! I’ll kill him.” Sniper clutched Spy even closer. “I-I’ll…we’ll go to Miss Pauling. The Administrator. He won’t get away with this.”

“I shouldn’t have been there in the first place. And I don’t want- I don’t want them to know.” It was hard enough admitting this to Sniper, but telling his employers was out of the question.

Sniper nodded. “I understand. And…I won’t do anything you don’t want. Sorry. I just-” He ran a hand backwards through his hair. “That’s…twisted. _Evil.”_ Sniper had seen many horrible things in his life, and there were very few he’d call evil, but this was definitely one of them. Not just because it had happened to one of his lovers. It was twisted and vile and sick and…perverted. He blanched again at that thought—just what might Medic have done with the head while it had been in his possession, utterly helpless?

Spy nodded, grateful. He could see Sniper had gone a bit pale, and wrapped his arms around him, stroking his neck and shoulders, rubbing where tension tended to collect. He’d thought Sniper having had a break from the sniper rifle would have meant less tension, but there was more than Spy remembered. Stress, most likely. Spy felt another stab of guilt. “I’m back, it’s over,” he assured them both.

“I should be comforting _you,”_ Sniper protested.

“I was comforting _myself_ , thank you.” Spy kissed him. Softer, he said, “It was hard on you too.” He couldn’t imagine finding Sniper’s headless body, having it around the base like a mockery of someone he’d lost.

Sniper laughed, harshly. “Well, it wasn’t exactly a picnic, no. But I can’t imagine…” He shook his head. What had happened to Spy sounded like a literal nightmare.

“Good, don’t.” He worked his fingers through Sniper’s hair. He was still getting back his coordination after so long without a body. All of him felt cold, as though he was still in the refrigerator. It was strange not to have full control of his hands. He was worried about using his butterfly knife again.

“Happy not to!” Sniper nuzzled against Spy’s hands, eyes closed with contentment. “Thanks. For telling me. I’m glad you…could. Did.”

Spy sighed. “Should have told you both together, now I have to do this again.” But there was a touch of humour to his voice, he wasn’t entirely serious. Part of him was glad he only had to focus on one of them at a time.

“I could tell him. If you’d prefer.”

“ _Non_ , I should. But, you can talk to him about it, of course, once I’ve told him.” It might help, he thought, for Sniper to be able to talk about it with someone who went through the same thing he had, to talk to someone who loved them both.

Sniper laughed. “I think I’ll take you up on that. Where’s Engineer gone, anyway? He’s been gone a long time.” He swallowed down the hint of panic that arose with that thought.

“He’s talking to the team, and making us food. He’ll be back soon.” Spy stroked Sniper’s hair again, laying flat and arranging Sniper so his cheek lay against Spy’s chest. It was strange, but it was comforting to comfort Sniper. It made him feel a little less out of control.

“I-I know.” Sniper nodded. “Are you hungry?”

“I’m not sure,” he admitted. He’d felt oddly removed from his body since he’d returned. He knew he ought to be hungry, and he could tell he’d lost weight—his ribs were more prominent than he remembered—but he just didn’t feel it. But he’d eat any time they brought him food, sure that their schedules were far more normal than his.

“Well, he’s a good cook, I’m sure he’ll find us something tasty,” Sniper said, a bit gruffly as he fought back tears.

Spy dozed for awhile, still stroking Sniper’s hair, until Engineer woke him up with a tray of food for the three of them

*

Finally, Spy grew overwhelmed by the attention of his lovers and fled to his smoking room, finding the lock broken and an assortment of medical tools inside. He shuddered. Why had Medic decided to move into his private room? …perhaps this is where they’d kept his body.

Throwing everything onto the Gladstone bag and leaving it out in the hallway, eager to be in his own space, as it should be. Hands shaking, he poured himself some brandy and lit a cigarette.

Seeing that the door to Spy’s smoking room wasn’t fastened, Heavy instead said, “Knock, knock.”

It was Heavy. Spy hesitated a long moment before inviting him in. It was good to see his friend again.

“I brought you some borscht,” Heavy said, almost shyly, offering the small pot almost at arms’ length. “Mama always made it for me when-” Heavy wasn’t really sure _what_ to call this situation. “It always made me feel better.”

“Thank you,” Spy couldn’t help but smile. “Come in, sit. Brandy?” he tried to hide the tremble in his hands. Once Heavy put down the pot of soup, Spy stepped into his arms and buried his face against his chest. “Thank you for coming.”

Heavy blinked, a little surprised to suddenly find Spy in his arms – his friend wasn’t usually so demonstrative with his affection, at least without a few drinks in him. “Of course. I’m… I’m so glad you’re back.”

“Me too,” he sighed, almost unwilling to step out of Heavy’s arms. He grabbed Heavy a glass and poured him a brandy. He passed it over to him and sat in his usual chair. “How has it been without me? I wish it hadn’t forfeited all our battles.”

“Thank you,” Heavy saluted Spy with his glass. “It’s been… tense.” He laughed. “Scout was happy the first few days, but eventually even he got bored.” He reached out, slowly and laid his hand on Spy’s. “But you don’t need to worry about any of that.”

“It’s already done,” he agreed. “I hope no one worked too hard looking for me.” His laugh was strained. “That sounded strange. I mean-” _what did he mean?_ “I don’t think anyone would’ve found me.”

Heavy grimaced, immediately wishing he could take the expression back. “How are you feeling?” he asked, clumsily trying to change the subject.

“Cold,” he said, honestly. “Happy to be back… anxious.” He said softly.

“Cold?” Heavy gave his friend’s hand a gentle squeeze. It felt warm enough.

“Even when I’m warm,” he frowned, not sure how to explain. “I just feel… cold.” He pulled up his mask to show Heavy his new scar. “And I’m not too fond of this, either.”

Heavy’s eyes widened at the sight, but he was relieved Spy had allowed him to change the topic. “It is strange that it’s still there,” Heavy agreed. “Was it cold where you were?” he asked, tentatively. Medic and him had theorized about where Spy’s head had ended up, but this was outside of anything they’d come up with.

Spy barely nodded, face grim.

Smiling softly, Heavy lifted Spy’s hand to his mouth and blew warm air on it.

Spy smiled back, “Thank you,” he gave a slow sigh. “I know we have battle again on Monday. I’m …not sure I’m ready.”

Heavy shrugged. “They’ll survive a few more days without battle.” He didn’t ask if Spy thought he’d ever be ready. He didn’t want to know.

He shook his head. “I’ll go. I just might... stay in the back,” he said. “I may not be useful, but at least everyone will have something to do.”

“There’s plenty you can do from the back,” Heavy chided. “Guard the teleporter, spy-check, guard Sniper.”

He nodded. As long as he was away from the Medic. Maybe both of them. He wasn’t sure he could even handle his own Medic. Certainly not in uniform.

Heavy watched thoughts flit across Spy’s face and wished he knew what to say –or not say—to help.

Spy drank some brandy. “I missed you.” He’d often thought of his team while he’d been trapped in the cold and dark.

“I missed you too, very much.” Heavy’s throat felt tight.

Spy suddenly regretted saying that. He put down his drink and cigarette, and, after a pause –a silent asking of permission- he climbed into Heavy’s lap.

Heavy held Spy close, engulfed in his massive arms. Heavy was a very affectionate person, but Spy didn’t usually like or invite a lot of contact. It was nice, but also slightly alarming.

Spy wanted nothing more than to stay there, safe and warm in Heavy’s arms, all night. He felt pathetic. He’d left Engineer and Sniper to get some time alone, and had ended up just crawling into someone else’s arms.

Heavy sat quietly, feeling Spy tense along with whatever he was thinking.

“I’m sorry to be so…” he couldn’t think of a better word than, “pathetic. I’m just… tired.” He was far more than tired, but he _was_ exhausted all the time. He’d been sleeping a lot since he’d gotten back. Something occurred to him. “Do you know why there were medical supplies in here?”

“You’re not pathetic,” Heavy assured him. He laughed. “You’re one of the least pathetic people I’ve ever met. You’ve been through… something. Something bad. Traumatic. I’d worry about you more if you didn’t have a reaction.” He frowned thoughtfully. “No, I don’t. Have you asked Medic?”

Spy’s face fell at the mention of Medic. It was still hard to hear the name. “No.”

“I’m sure, whatever he was doing, he was trying to help. He and Engineer were in and out of here all the time for the first few days.”

Spy frowned. That was odd. They must have kept his body here. It made sense, in a terrible way. No one would want to see his body often, but it still horrified him. “I’ll ask Engineer,” he murmured, but he was content for now to stay in Heavy’s lap.

*

Spy finally dragged himself away from Heavy and said goodbye to his friend after eating some borscht with him. He headed back to Engineer’s workshop, certain he’d find the Texan there.

“Hey, Spy!” Engineer hoped his relief of seeing his lover again wasn’t as obvious as it felt.

Spy gave Engineer a squeeze, privately just as relieved to see him. “I was in my smoking room. Do you know why there were medical supplies in there?”

“Ah….” Engineer did his best to keep his face blank. He wanted to tell Spy to leave it alone, give himself time to heal from… whatever had happened to him, but he knew that Spy wouldn’t take that well. “Me and doc were …trying to help you.”

He frowned. “How?”

Engineer reached over and gave Spy’s hand a squeeze. “Are you sure you want to talk about this so soon?”

“Yes. What was going on in my smoking room?” Spy’s voice was quiet, but firm. How on earth had they hoped to help him?

Engineer sighed, patting the chair beside his own. “You might want to sit down for this.”

Spy sighed, sitting down. He took Engineer’s flesh and blood hand in his.

“We…” Engineer tried to figure out how to begin. “You didn’t show up for battle, so we were worried. I checked the respawn report and it showed that you were within respawn range, but... _dead_.” He swallowed. “So we followed your tracking signal and …found your body. Alive. But with no head. I’m so sorry. We were going to tell you, we just wanted to give you some time.”

Spy did not look surprised, but his face was grim. “Sniper mentioned you’d found it. I had…wondered. About it. My body, I mean. I’m glad you tried to help but I wish you hadn’t seen that.”

Engineer laughed, giving Spy’s hand a firm squeeze. “I wish you hadn’t had to go through any of this.” He sighed, staring down at his lap. “I wish I hadn’t either. I’m just glad you’re back, safe.”

“Me too,” he looked away. “The Medic, the RED Medic, had me.”

Engineer’s face hardened, gunslinger gripping the side of his chair hard enough that the wood squeaked in protest. He’d suspected as much, when he saw Spy flinch at Medic’s name, but to hear it from Spy was different.

Spy took Engineer’s hand again, his flesh and blood hand. He couldn’t bring himself to say more. Maybe he never would. Maybe it was for the best that Sniper told Engineer. It was humiliating enough to admit that once. But he was safe now, even if he wasn’t looking forward to facing RED Medic in battle.

*

Spy lined up for battle along with the rest of the team. It was good to be busy, to be back to normalcy, as odd as normalcy was here. He ignored all the sideways glances he got from his teammates. They were curious, and he could hardly blame them. At least there were no questions.

Once out in the field, it wasn’t long before he spotted the RED Medic. Cloaking, he snuck in close, suddenly filled with a cold, hard anger.

The RED Medic laughed wildly, gripping his medigun with one hand while he gave his Heavy a hard shove in the middle of his back. “Los, los!”

Flicking out his knife, Spy stabbed Medic in the stomach, gutting him. He felt a rush of power at the sight of blood spattering the ground. He knew he had to disappear before the RED Heavy saw him, but he also knew Medic could heal a gut wound. He buried his knife sideways through the man’s trachea.

The RED Medic fell to his knees, choking, reaching out blindly for his unseen attacker. He tried to cry out for his Heavy, but all that emerged was a gurgle, nowhere near loud enough to be heard over the sounds of the battle surrounding them. He fell heavily onto his side, mouth opening and closing like a landed fish.

Spy finally stepped back, satisfied to watch the Medic die a slow and terrible death. The RED Heavy pretended to overlook the violence going on behind him. Privately, he thought his Medic deserved it.

Over the course of the battle, Spy continued to target Medic. His fear had turned to anger and it was all he could do to focus on anything but killing the man who had kept him like a prize. Like a toy, an experiment.

BLU Heavy had been watching his friend closely –as closely as he could watch a man who could literally turn invisible and look like other people –and he’d noticed Spy’s tactic. The first time he got a good glimpse of his Spy –hopefully his Spy, not the other Spy in disguise- he gently reached out and touched his teammates shoulder.

Spy flinched, then sighed and leaned into him. He hadn’t expected the touch. “I’m fine,” he assured Heavy, before the man could ask.

“Mm-hmm.”

Spy frowned at him, but didn’t argue. “It’s been… therapeutic.”

Heavy nodded. “Understandable. Just… be careful.” He was worried, not just about Spy’s emotional well-being, but the risk of the Administrator’s wrath if Spy’s target became too obvious for too long, especially after his prolonged and mostly unexplained disappearance.

“I always am,” he retorted.

“I know,” Heavy sighed, now Spy was getting defensive, which meant he wouldn’t listen. He smiled, dangerously, clapping his friend on the back a little harder then he usually would. “But for today… kill him.” Even after all this time, it still felt a little strange to send his best friend, after a man who looked exactly like the love of his life, but if the other Medic had held and tortured Spy, he deserved whatever Spy gave him.

Spy gave him a similar smile, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

 

 


End file.
